When our bodies are healthy, they are said to be “in balance.” Experiencing homeostasis. The blood Ph level is hovering somewhere around 7.35. Body temperature right near 98.6 degrees F. Blood pressure rates vary a little bit more, but with all of these indicators, anything more than a slight shift can cause great disturbance.
The same can be said about relationship analysis. Whether it’s with our significant other, a parent or sibling, or our co-workers, people have a common tendency to see things out of balance.
If you focus too much on the other person’s flaws, you miss everything you are adding to the equation. Furthermore, you miss all the other person’s positives, perhaps to the point where you reject someone who could be a great partner for you. On the opposite end, if you focus too much on your own flaws, you can miss the red flags the other person might be displaying. You might take responsibility for their bad behaviour, thinking that “you did something to deserve it.” And definitely, no matter what, too much focus on your own flaws will make you a pretty unpleasant person to date or be in a relationship with. Always apologizing. Always thinking you did something wrong. Always feeling like you’re never good enough. None of that is attractive.
So, balance. Self reflection is an essential ingredient, but so is being able to drop that and pay attention to the other person. Learning to detect red flags in another, like the person who seems a little too keen to impress you, is an invaluable skill. However, so is recognizing the subtle and not so subtle good qualities in a person.
What do you think?
Balancing Or Falling by Star5112 @ Flickr