The responsibilities of parenthood can feel all-consuming. Your kids need things around the clock. Even once they reach school and are out of the house for seven hours a day, the tab labeled Parenthood in your brain never closes.
Maybe they need you to run something up. Maybe they call home sick. Maybe you just think and worry about them because you’re their parent. It’s normal to feel completely immersed in your role as a parent. However, that immersion shouldn’t come at the expense of your personal growth and development.
In this article, we take a look at how you can dedicate yourself to family while still acknowledging your needs as a human.
Why Parenthood Feels So Overwhelming
One of the most challenging things about parenthood is that it bleeds into every aspect of your life. You have friendships, you have professional responsibilities, maybe you have educational goals. But no matter what else you get yourself up to, your children’s needs will ultimately always be prioritized.
Because these needs are so constant and varied, it’s difficult to divert your mental and physical energy toward anything else.
There’s actually a scientific explanation for why this lifestyle arrangement feels so overwhelming. It’s called context switching. Your brain literally burns energy trying to keep track of lots of different information.
So if you’re at work during the day, but thinking also about how you need to get dinner ready by four so that you can get your kids off to soccer practice by five, your brain is literally exhausting itself. By the end of the day, or by around three or four in the afternoon, you will have literally drained your mental energy.
That’s actually why the moment your kids come home from school might feel like the hardest part of your day. It’s not that you aren’t happy to see them, it’s that you’ve already exhausted yourself and now you have a whole host of new tasks and responsibilities to complete all on diminished energy.
There is no perfect solution to the mental fatigue that comes with a life of multi-faceted responsibilities, but there are things you can do to grow personally while handling your parental obligations with strength, grace, and clarity.
Step One: Identify Your Stressors
We mentioned in the last heading that mid-afternoon is often the hardest part of a person’s day because that’s when your mental and physical fatigue are at their highest. If that is your time of greatest stress, recognize it. If not, figure out when you’re hitting your wall and what the trigger looks like. Simply recognizing when your energy levels are at their lowest is a great way to start addressing your moments of greatest stress.
Once you know why and when you’re bottoming out, it’s easier to make routines that provide you with extra support.
For example, if you know that the moments immediately following school pickup are difficult, you can start by trying for a moment of peace before you get the kids.
Spend just five minutes focusing on mindful breathing to release your cortisol levels. Then, when the kids get home, develop a routine around quiet snack time or 15 minutes of independent reading or crafting. This gives you a little bit of space to recuperate and prepare for your late afternoon and early evening responsibilities.
Step Two: Figure Out Where Your Time Is Going
If you have personal or professional development goals, but you’re also raising a family, it’s hard to find time consistently. It’s important to look at your routine objectively. Where are the hours you have to yourself going? There’s a reasonably high chance that they’re spent on screen time.
Take a look at your phone. Figure out how much time you spend scrolling or streaming, and consider that time you can buy back for professional or personal growth.
The average adult spends several hours a day just looking at pointless things on their phone. That’s very easily time that could be applied toward getting a certification that allows you to pivot into a new and exciting career.
Certainly, it’s enough time to develop a simple exercise and meditation routine.
Step Three: Recognize the Validity and Value of Your Goals
Yes, your responsibility to the family unit may supersede personal desires. No, that doesn’t mean all of your goals and hopes are unimportant.
Once you’ve developed a routine for managing your time effectively and handling stress as it arises, you’ll hopefully find that meeting personal objectives, like getting a master’s degree in social work or maybe even starting a business, are not only within your means, but very attainable.
That said, making moves toward personal or professional growth does require a sense of priority. You can’t constantly start and stop your goals and expect them to materialize. Even putting in an hour a day toward continuing your education or starting a side business will accumulate over time.
Conclusion
Finding time for yourself as a parent is not easy, but the old airplane logic still stands. You have to secure your oxygen mask before you can do the same for someone else. There’s a reason airplane stewardesses have been giving this advice thousands of times a day for many years.
You’re not useful to anyone else if you’re slumped over in your seat from oxygen deprivation. Your goals matter. Your career matters. More importantly, your mental health matters. Take care of yourself. Not only is it in your best interest, but it’s good for your children as well. They’ll benefit from a parent who is happy, healthy, and modeling good mental health behaviors that they can prioritize in their own lives.
Photo Credit
Image by Mircea Iancu from Pixabay
Guest Author Bio
Sarah Daren
With a Bachelor’s in Health Science along with an MBA, Sarah Daren has a wealth of knowledge within both the health and business sectors. Her expertise in scaling and identifying ways tech can improve the lives of others has led Sarah to be a consultant for a number of startup businesses, most prominently in the wellness industry, wearable technology and health education. She implements her health knowledge into every aspect of her life with a focus on making America a healthier and safer place for future generations to come.
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