Solitude matters, and for some people it is the air that they breathe.
~ Susan Cain
I’m an unabashed, unapologetic, happy as a pig in slop homebody. Yes, indeed. An introvert. A cocooner. A marginalized being that more often than not is seen as deprived and depraved by the majority of the planet’s human population, those social buzzing bees, the extroverts, who cavort and parade their message of togetherness across the high-definition vistas of worldwide media.
I prefer a more subdued ballad for life; solitude strikes the perfect silent chord. I like nothing better than meditating and writing, both quite solitary endeavours. I conjure up reasons to putter around my apartment, crossing delicious items off my to-do list. When the sun teases and tempts or bastions of rain and growling winds rage outside my cloistered domain, I like nothing better than to snuggle up with a sweet cup of tea and a savoury book on my well-worn couch.
My love of the interior world doesn’t preclude my love of humanity. I treasure my friendships, my family, those beings who cross my path and choose to spend their precious time with me in deep, meaningful conversations. I relish home-cooked meals and restaurant cuisine, long tables spilling over with hands and mouths eager to touch and be touched with the heartfelt nourishment of food and words. Coffee dates in nearby cafes, walks along city streets and ocean cleansed pathways beckoning with crisp aliveness and the unshakeable kindness of both strangers and dear comrades as we offer our indelible presence to each other.
Since my windows to others voices are often opened by the internet, I was blissfully delighted and morally surged by Susan Cain’s TED Talk, “The Power of Introverts.” Her tales of camp and forsaken books, her foray into Wall Street law, and her realization that being an introvert is really okay opened my eyes and my heart to the gifts my status as a loner offers the planet. One third to one half of all people are introverts, yet our schools and work places are molded in the larger than life image of extroverts. While the extroverts are the ones most often in the spotlight, most creative ideas and better grades are garnered by introverts.
Famous introverts such as Charles Darwin, Eleanor Roosevelt, Rosa Parks and Gandhi were reluctant leaders, preferring the safe confines of their interior worlds, yet recognizing that their personal comforts were inferior to facing and wrestling with the issues they confronted in their times. Religious icons such as Buddha, Jesus, and Mohammad spent time in still aloneness, facing the wilderness of nature and their own minds to come to realizations still moving and touching us today.
So introverts of the world, we may not unite, but we can feel assured that the world needs us and what we have to share with others. For me, solitude is truly the air I breathe. It’s the rain that nurtures my creative flow, the honey that sweetens my life, the home that protects me and offers endless opportunities for me to go out into the world, knowing I can always return to its quiet, welcoming arms.
TED Talk with Susan Cain, “The Power of Introverts”:
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Microsoft Office Clipart Collection
As a solid extrovert I can honestly say I truly envy introverts. As I get older my extrovert tendancies are fading slightly and I have found myself following a life more in peace as your story describes. I took a class once that clarified the different ways personalities think. The most basic categories people fell in were whether they fell on the introvert or extrovert scale (I was 97% extrovert but it was neat to see they put people in a percentage of how strong these tendancies were). Newly armed with the knowledge of how my introverted husband thinks compared to how my extreme extroverted brain works might have been the key that pushed our relationship to the next level. Once I understand that he processes new information in a different way from me, it allowed me to change how I react or act in our conversations and it made all the difference. I am so thankful for the introverts in my life. They ground me and bring me to earth when I start to fly away. Thank you for your insight.
Thank you for your great insight, Samantha. That sounds like a powerful class you took. To be able to see where on the introvert/extrovert spectrum we fall is tremendous information to gain a clearer view of our life and how we fit into all our relationships.
It’s funny isn’t it how we always seem to want that grass on the other side of the fence. For most of my life I wished I was that gregarious, fun-loving extrovert, but I’ve really come to appreciate who I am and to realize the world needs me as I am. I’m blessed for all the many extroverts and introverts in my life. Each of them enriches my world and me by knowing them.
Kudos to you for reaching out to your husband in ways that help both of you connect more. We all need that kind of grace.
Over the weekend, I dreaded meeting some new people. I went and met them and put myself out there. It was a success. I had fun. Went to an unplanned movie and had a great time too. Went to see another movie today. I put out energy.
As much fun as all that was, my alone time was by far the best. I relaxed by doing the things that only recharge my battery. I regrouped. I stored energy for later
I hear you, PJ. Although it’s important to be with others, it’s in recognizing the balance we have to strike with ourselves that nourishes us so we can be the best of ourselves when we are with other people.
So great that you recognize what you need to recharge. Hope you’re having a replenishing time.
Excellently stated.
Thanks Gab! Here’s to a little alone time for us all.
Thanks for that great reminder, Dan.
It’s gratifying to recognize what works for us and realize it may not be the cup of tea for someone else. For me as well my time at home alone is the recharge I need to bring balance and perspective to all that the world brings me.
You’re welcome, Tess. Before I understood my need for solitude, I called myself a “gregarious loner” – I would get out and be around people, but if I didn’t have the recharge time, I was way out of balance!
I can so relate to that, Dan! I was the perfect wallflower, feeling like I was supposed to socialize at parties or group gatherings; that’s what “normal” people did. Once I embraced the fact that my alone time allowed me to be who I truly was I became more of myself with other people too.
It’s such a gift to be able accept ourselves with true understanding and compassion.
Right there with you, Tess! I’m very comfortable to nest at home and spend “recharge” time just for me. 🙂
Thanks Shannon!
Yes! Well said Tess!