Sometimes words are not enought and, yet, sometimes they are all we have. Donna Leskosek reaches out in her writing about the unfairness of cancer and the way that we drift from social circles and become familiar with the unthinkable.
Nine years ago my family suffered a crisis. It took every bit of strength and determination we had to survive it. We were only able to do that with the support of family and friends. At the time it happened I worked for Interior Health. my collegues were a group of caring people. Many people helped in many ways. One of them, Chris Moulton, stepped forward and did my job when I was unable to do it. He made me laugh when I didn’t think I would ever laugh again.
Shortly after our life settled down, crisis struck his family. His wife was diagnosed with cancer. His family’s life took on the exhausting path through the health care system that my family had been on. In illness there is no choice about what you do, you just do it. The world goes on around you and you are no longer really a part of it. You slip out of social circles and the smells and sounds of hospitals become familiar. Sleep becomes a luxury. People ask how do you do it? The only answer is that it isn’t like you have a choice. The uncertainty of the future can be crushing and the experience changes you, your relationships and your expectations of the world. In the months I spent in hospital hallways I watched families fall apart. I saw the huge sacrifices people made.
I know the Moultons saw the same things I had in the time between Shelly’s diagnosis and recovery. I am not certain I could ever go down that road again. Chris and Shelly have found themselves back there. I learned about it from a facebook post. An angry outcry from Chris…saying it’s not true that good things come to good people. I share his anger. Enough is really enough. Since that post I’ve thought about my old friend daily, even though we have drifted apart. I’ve seen his posts and hoped with all my heart for the best outcome. I’ve wondered what I have to give. Words do not seem enough. This world is so unfair. Words are, despite their insignificance, the thing I am the best with. I’m not going to spout platitudes like good things come out of bad, or god only gives you what you can deal with. I’m not going to say I know what it feels like now. I don’t. They have gone through hell once and now are facing it again. Chris is someone who spent years working with people with challenges and now helps young hockey players meet their goals. Shelly has spent her life enriching the lives of seniors. They are great people. I’m using my words to ask everyone who reads this to keep them in your thoughts and prayers. I dont care what your religion is or how your belief system works. However it is that you send hope and good energy out into the world please send some their way.
Photo Credit:
“Sidewalk Stencil: Your existence gives me hope.” © Some rights reserved by Franco Folini
What a beautifully articulated and heartfelt article and yes, sometimes words are all we have but they can be powerful, positive, and comforting. Donna reminds us of the importance of reaching out to those who are going through difficult times in spite of feeling that our words are inadequate.