I recently treated myself to a new MacBook. Hey, I’m an unemployed, single gal currently “staying” with her mom, with two beater vehicles that are constantly trying to one-up each other on their creative repair needs. Why shouldn’t I be dropping a thousand dollars on a shiny toy I don’t really need?
It’s only been a few weeks, and I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But so far this is the BEST RELATIONSHIP OF MY LIFE!
Let me share a few things about Justin. (Yes, I am adding my computer to the list of possessions I name and then obsess over like they’re really my family. Drew — my car. Dougie and Bobby — my house plants. Lucy — my sewing machine. And yes, I picked Justin for Mr. Long of the “I Am A Mac” commercials that are really funny. I need a life.)
- He’s a great listener.
- He loves to watch me work.
- He doesn’t mind if we’re out together, say at a coffee shop, and I totally ignore him while chatting with someone I’ve bumped into.
- He knows everything. Seriously. Everything. But not in an arrogant way. In a matter-of-fact, helpful way.
- He’s super patient.
- We have the Exact Same taste in music.
- I’m his first experience with a human.
- He doesn’t mind that I’ve been with lots of other computers.
Let me be clear about something. I’m not trying to imply that all guys are jerks. Far from it. The vast majority of men I know are wonderful people. And they’re all off limits, for a variety of reasons. No, what I’m saying is that the guys I date tend to be jerks.
This poses an interesting question. I think I’m a pretty smart, usually nice, occasionally funny woman. One would think that might attract similar qualities in men. And I’m no naive mouth breather who can be taken in by a wink and a pat on the bum. I feel I should be able to spot – and avoid – douche bags fairly easily. And yet, time and again I find myself sitting across from some dead beat who’s chugging beer while droning on and on about his hot ex-girlfriend, and I know that yet again I’m going to be stuck with the bill.
So, here is that interesting question I mentioned. Am I (smart, independent, savvy me) really, truly, subconsciously drawn to total jerk-faces? Or, do I (nice, kind, funny me) find perfectly nice guys and somehow manage to turn them into jerk-faces? Is it actually me?
These are the kind of thoughts that can really get a person down on themselves.
But fortunately, I am typing them into my shiny, white, happy MacBook. That’s alright, Justin says. Just get it all out. Put it all on me. I can take it.
And hey, maybe when you’re done we can cuddle in bed. Me on your lap. You with a cup of tea. We could watch a movie. Or just sit and talk. It’s up to you.
When was the last time your boyfriend said that to you? Hmmm??
Photo Credits
Natural MacBook © Creative Commons
Justin Long – I’m A Mac: © Creative Commons
Does Justin have a single brother? 😉
Justin and I thank all of you for your comments! While both agree that Macs are fun, easy to use, and dead sexy, we have absolutely nothing against PCs. Justin actually has an Acer Notebook as a roommate (there’s a joke about threesomes in here somewhere, but I can’t quite find it…)
See, how we agree on everything? We ARE perfect for each other 🙂
Sarah impulsive and superficial? That’s actually my job in the family.
Dana, Dana, Dana … I understand waking up on the wrong side of ‘I think I’ll start the day with a snap judgment attack on someone based on a few (humorously intended) words’ but ‘functionally identical product?’ Oh, friend, your argument just lost more credibility than Tiger Woods at a Promise Keepers convention.
You know, I had a lengthy, witty and somewhat biting response all fired up and ready to go, but I’ve got some trendy marketing campaigns to go buy into so, I’ll keep this tight. One day your tinker toy computer will beef out on you, and like many of us that have made the transition to Macs you’ll be lured. Not just by their sleek design and marketing, but their user-friendly superior functionality.
Until then, go have a long, refreshing sip of Haterade and enjoy your cheap piece of ASUS.
this piece made me laugh out loud 🙂 As did the comments – it’s amazing how serious people will take these things….
btw – Macs rule. And I was on the Mac train LOOOOOONG before the sexy commercials. I think it was back when 128 kb was all you’d ever need…..I use a PC at work and a Mac at home. And yes, a Mac is better. Though I will give MS props for a better spreadsheet program.
Ah my dears how I do love you all…rock on, rock on.
Granny.
Dana, you do realize that Windows 7 wasn’t actually your idea, right?
@Dana:
Really, I have to re-iterate Sara’s question, you assimilated all of that drivel in your response just because Sarah chose to write about her Mac Book? If you hate Macs, why not just limit the commentary to Macs? Why bring in the personal attack? Not only were your comments way off base and rude, but it’s sad that you need to feel better by trying to score points off someone’s creativity!
@Sarah:
I for one loved this article. It made me laugh and spurt my morning tea all over myself. Of course you would name him Justin :).
Keep writing. I know that not everyone will agree with or appreciate everything you write. What counts is that you write and you engage people to think outside of their lives. You go girl!
Cute piece! Too bad some of the readers didn’t seem to get it.
Dana …. Dana … you remind me of me and my home made wine … I truly thought there was nothing wrong with it .. and actually there wasn’t “when you don’t know any better”… it was functional, it was cheap, it worked for me (though really it all tasted much the same).
But then, alas, my friend from California brought me a bottle of this cabernet sauvignon when he came to visit me and it was incredibly amazing. Each sip registered these deliciouls sensations on my tongue and in the back of my throat. It made me want to close my eyes and savor every little drop of it and be in the moment because I knew the bottle would eventually be empty! Since then my relationship with home made wine has radically changed!
That is what happens when long term PC users finally try a Mac. Try it at your own risk!
“And I’m no naive mouth breather who can be taken in by a wink and a pat on the bum.”
I’m sorry, but this sentence made me laugh, simply because you bought a thousand dollar Macbook instead of an HP or Acer notebook that could do all of the things you want for HUNDREDS of dollars less. In fact, I’d wager that I can do everything on my $250 ASUS netbook than you do with Justin… not to mention the fact that my battery life is about six times longer than yours (depending on which model of Macbook you purchased).
To answer your question, YES, IT’S YOU. I’d say that you are both EXTREMELY naive and superficial, as you apparently bought into Apple’s trendy marketing campaign (at your own admission, thus the name of your computer) rather than simply doing some research and seeing how easily you could have saved money on a functionally identical product. Were you really that afraid that a PC wouldn’t come with the ability to listen to music, use a web browser, or perform any of the other simplistic duties you ask of Justin? The major advantage Macs have over PCs comes in the form of advanced sound/video editing software, that you probably got conned into paying for and will never use.
I, for one, am not at all surprised that you can’t seem to meet any nice guys. But a “nice guy” isn’t really what you’re looking for; no matter how much you want to believe otherwise, your irresponsible, impulsive, and uninformed purchase tells me that what you really want is a rich husband who won’t mind buying you a shiny trinket every time you feel depressed.
Wow, you can tell all that about me from my preference for Macs over PCs? Amazing!
Dana
If the car you drive has a standard transmission, no radio, and absolutely no options, then possibly you may not be a hippocrite.
If you live in a one room house with no paint, no lawn, and no power or running water, then possibly you may not be a hippocrite.
Need I continue?
(Written on a MacBook)
LOL Terry! … I really wish you would!
Yes, I have this weird fetish for single men who aren’t related to me 🙂 Oh, and who like me back…
How could “the vast majority of men” be off limits to you? Do you have some weird fetish or something?