I make my living as a waitress. I consider myself a professional. I find it’s a career choice that people are both intrigued and repelled by.
The restaurant industry is a strange one. It’s a whole different way of life. It’s not just the working evenings. It’s the mystery, the romance, the chaos, the stress. Working in a restaurant is like being in the theatre. The show must go on every night. The show must go on no matter how much you dread it.
When I put my apron on, I become my character. I am confidant and efficient, as friendly as I need to be, as good a listener as I’m asked to be — and happy to serve you. I am graceful and kind. I have spent years perfecting my act.
I am knowledgeable on hundreds of wines, every item on the menu and all the ingredients in them. I can recite all the dishes that are gluten-free, dairy-free, nut-free. I will take all your requests seriously. I will do everything in my power to ensure that your evening is not only pleasant, but excellent.
If you come to the restaurant more than three times I will remember you, your likes and dislikes, and I will make you feel special and appreciated. I treat everyone like a VIP. I will ask you about your holiday, how your renovations are coming along, if your sister had her baby, if you sold your car. I will have your martini waiting for you — one with a twist. I’ll buy you a drink on your anniversary. I will call you when you forget your scarf. I will take the chef’s anger when you ask to have all the sauces on the side and your steak well done.
I will do all these things while being paid minimum wage. I do all these things to insure proper service.
More than half of my income is earned in gratuities. I depend on people enjoying the experience I provide; if they don’t I don’t get paid. There aren’t very many jobs like that. It requires a thick skin. Sometimes things don’t go right. There are a variety of reasons that can happen. Most often it is simply a mistake. Customers are not very forgiving of mistakes. Some are downright cruel. I’ve had customers make me cry because they feel they have the right to insult me.
I have had many conversations about tipping. I feel pretty passionately about the subject. I’m not going to tell you how much or what percentage. I think we all know the etiquette. Think of it as the applause after the curtain call.
Photo Credit
“Over a pizza” Yarden Sachs @ Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some rights reserved.
I wish I could eat at the restaurant where you work! What a pleasure it would be!
Like kylen says, it seems true that the biggest tippers are those who have been there. I’ve been there, but I never reached your level of professionalism.
For great service, I do leave a great big tip. But only because we live in a tipping culture and I am very aware that servers receive low hourly wages. But tipping in general really makes me feel uncomfortable. I’d rather that owners pay all their employees a fair wage rather than forcing them to rely on tipping since even when one provides wonderful service, it doesn’t guarantee a wonderful tip.
You should come eat at my restaurant!
thx for this jess, i can totally relate!!
…maybe not the knowledge of over 200 hundred wines but the rest definitely:)
i was a server at the same restaurant for over 14 yrs and for the most part i truly did enjoy my job. however tipping etiquette has always been interesting to witness.
there never seems to be any rhyme or reason. there have been times when i’ve been a “rock star” server only to NOT have it reflected in my tip and other times when i’ve been ‘average’ and received a huge tip.i’ve always been confused by that.
yet as always the biggest tippers are those who have been there…they are always a pleasure to serve.
continue the fab work both in your writing and in providing a pleasant dining experience for your customers.
may you receive at least 20% in gratuities each and every time:)
I totally get what you are saying. There is often no rhyme or reason or correlation between service and gratuity, it boggles my mind too!
I love serving industry people too!
The insight you have so beautfully decribed of the demanding and knowledgeable job you have has, I am sure, enlightened many of us.
Thank you for taking the time to describe your days.
I am apalled to read that some of the customers had you in tears.That is just plain awful and NOT
acceptable.
Bravo for your article Jess.
Bravo to all the people who, like yourself, serve others so cheerfully and patiently.
Thanks Joan. Luckily the bad customers are few and far between, but their attitude always leves a lasting impression.
Beautiful! And this is why you are really a writer who just has a side gig! 🙂
Thanks Mary – that’s very high praise.