Today, let’s talk about not everything is my fault.

Have you ever felt like you’re responsible for everything that happens? Whatever is going on – somehow, it is your fault?

You are to blame. I learned that growing up in an alcoholic household, and carried it into my adult life. In some way, I had caused whatever was happening by being a “bad son,” or not being good enough in school. When my Dad was angry and drunk, I never realized it might be because of his job or his life – it somehow became about me. Sometimes he even said I was the problem. At times I felt like it was my fault for having just been born. I had to learn that this just was not true. Everything wasn’t my fault – which also meant I had to stop apologizing for all the events in my adult world.

Have you ever felt like that?

Photo Credit

No Place To Hide – morgueFile free photo – anitapatterson

Minute to Freedom #2: Not My Fault is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Today let’s talk about isolation.

Have you ever felt like you had no one to talk to? That people just didn’t understand what you were going through?

I had that experience, and when I started trying to deal with it, I found out one of the biggest effects of growing up in an alcoholic family was isolation. I had to learn to talk to people – people who understood the feeling of being a teenager trapped inside a house, in the dead of winter, an unpredictable drunk in the living room, and no way to escape. I had to talk about what had happened, how I felt about it, and how it was affecting me in today’s world. I found out I was not alone – others had gone through similar things, and talking about those old events helped me begin to release them.

It was very freeing!

Have you ever had a similar experience?

Photo Credits

Image By – Loufi – Some Rights Reserved

Minute to Freedom #1: Isolation is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

My husband Shaun and I had just climbed into bed and were getting ourselves settled down for the night. I was engrossed in my book and he was half-heartedly watching a show on his iPad. I was getting drowsy and nearly ready to nod off, when Shaun abruptly turned to me and asked “Are you going to write that book?”

“Huh?” I asked as I quickly tried to come up with a reason why I hadn’t managed to start it yet.
Shaun just looked at me. After nearly twenty-three years of marriage, he was well aware that I knew exactly what he was talking about. He just patiently waited for me to answer.

It was shortly after New Year’s Day that I had braced myself and announced to my family that my one-and-only resolution for the year was to write a book. I was fully prepared to be teased about this goal. After all, I’m not known for my long attention span. I’m more of a short and sweet, instant-gratification type of girl.

Much to my surprise (and delight) my family was entirely on board with my grand idea. They were eager to help in any way that they could. My sweet girls started suggesting names for my characters. When I mentioned that I wanted the setting to be in a small town, my husband surprised me by taking me on a day trip to explore out of the way towns in our area. Then, to my amusement, they all started to vie over who the dedication was going to be made out to.

Despite all this support, when I sat down to start writing, I couldn’t find the words. I was baffled. The story was one that has always been a part of my memory. It should have flowed easily from my thoughts out onto the paper.

It didn’t take too long for me to realize that this story I needed to tell was too important to me. It was about how my parents met and fell in love. In my mind, to have their love story written down would be the perfect gift for their fiftieth anniversary. I had one year to do it.

I turned to my husband and said, “I’m scared. I don’t know how to write a book, what if I mess it up?”

“You won’t,” he told me. “It doesn’t have to perfect. Just start, the words will come.“

He’s right. There’s really no reason to fear the words. If it doesn’t work, all I have to do is start over again.

The words will come.

Photo Credit:

“Shakespear’s Words.”   Some rights reserved by Calamity Meg

Finding the Words is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

I have a question for you.

“What would you do today if you could not fail”?

It’s thought provoking. How would you answer it?

I immediately thought about bringing peace to the world but how would I prevent consequential over-population and more global warming. More education, contraception and redistribution of resources? How can this be achieved in a day! I thought about violence and inequality. How I wish I could tell Americans that they “don’t” have the right to bear arms or invade other countries but they’d probably just shoot me. I thought about cutting excessive executive salaries through a tax that funds hospitals and schools. Or inventing a mind altering drug to stop abuse and discrimination but how would I administer it.

I thought about the little things that irk me like four wheel drives and Barbie dolls. How I wish I could ban four wheel drives from the city. The downside – stopping people’s freedom to make “wrong” choices. Barbie – Huh – how to make a girl feel inadequate – all those curves and successful careers not to mention Ken, the model boyfriend. How I yearn to design Feral Barbie – a doll with a normal body shape and imperfections but boy can that doll party!

Or maybe I could travel through time and undo all my mistakes. But those mistakes are what make me who I am today.

Then I remembered watching a Down syndrome girl in the middle of the shopping mall dancing and singing with no inhibitions and I decided on my final answer. I would love knowing it would be accepted and multiplied. I would speak out with no fear of negative repercussions. I would compose a song that sends shivers down everyone spine and makes them feel happy. I would write words of inspiration and hope and I would smile and laugh. And tomorrow I would do all these things knowing that failure is not an option as I am never a failure as long as I try.

Photo Credit

Photo Provided By Amanda Makrides from Talk Like A Physicist

Guest Author Bio

Amanda Makrides

Mother of two beautiful sons. Aspiring writer and poet. I like to write provocatively with a tongue in cheek style. Political and human rights activist. Lover of music, the arts and square pegs that don’t fit into round holes.

What would you do today if you could not fail? is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Spring is here, summer is sneaking up quietly behind. I can feel the warmth of summer on my back. The long days of summer, I am eager for them to start. It has been an unusually cruel and brutal winter it seems to me, a never ending stream of dark days. The sun it seemed had abandoned us.

Then the temperature changed and so did my feelings. I could feel that kid in me again, as my joints warmed up in the sun. I was back, back to a time where my body was never sore, where my joints never ached, back to a time where I could run and jump and skip and seemingly all at the same time.

My pixie cut head bleached by the sun, I reveled in the summer months playing trucks in the sand that seemed to form by the curb of the sidewalks. I took my trike out for a spin up and down the sidewalk, my mother making sure I was safe even though at the time there was never it seemed a car in sight.

I called on my friend Dawn and we played from morning till night, cowboys and Indians when such a game would not be politically incorrect but just a game that kids played.

I could spend hours with pie plates and dirt. Making molds of mud, pouring and adding and filling and pounding. Clay squishing through your fingers, it went everywhere, splat here, splat there, the driveway covered in mud.

Then there were the rain dances. I can still feel in my body the absolute joy of those dances in my friend’s side yard. We would grab hold of a tree with one arm and hoop and holler, yodel and yell, skipping and jumping up and down in an ancient yet childish dance for rain. The wind would pick up and funnels of dirt and sand and tiny stones would swirl around us as we chanted and sang verses calling on the gods to bring us rain. The clouds would gather in the distance and my friend Dawn and I would look at one another and smile and away we would go again with the same sing song praying for rain as we danced around the tree. We would then see lightning in the sky and we would both scream in terror or joy … did we do that? When the rain finally came we would laugh and yell and continue our dancing until we were called in by our parents.

Oh the simple joys of being a child and embracing the absolute freedom of summer and its magic, the trips to the park, swinging up into the sky, trying to touch the clouds. I would go to the pond with a mason jar and try to catch tadpoles. Some days were spent just lying in the sweet soft grass in my back yard looking up at the sky and daydreaming for hours. There was no rush, no phones, no video games, the pace was slow. The summer it seemed to me lasted a lifetime when I was a child.

My body in constant motion, sun baked skin, bruises and scrapes on my knees. All signs of unbridled freedom, to explore and just be a kid. When you were hungry you ate. When you were tired you slept. There were no rules. Summer gardens flourished and so did we, us kids, growing up when we did. Our parents never seemed concerned when we were gone for hours on end.

I still enjoy the mud pies although I have expanded on the theme somewhat and can spend hours in my garden, digging and planting. Often when I am at work in the garden those vivid memories come back to me of playing in the dirt, the soil our great mother earth. I smile and am thankful for that opportunity I had so many years ago to be one with nature and to be totally engrossed in the magic of summer.

Although I don’t do any rain dances anymore I know that child in me can still enjoy the pleasure of sharing such a moment with a friend. Moments that encompasses man and nature. moments when those two entities seem to be one.

It’s those amazing memories that endeavor to show you just how truly connected you are to the child that roamed the neighborhood, much like the ancient dinosaur. That child still lives in you, embrace her and don’t ever let her become extinct.

 Photo Credits

Microsoft Office Clip Art Collection

Guest Author Bio

Martha Farley
I am a daycare Technician at the Lester B Pearson School Board and when I am not working I write.

I have had several articles published in the Montreal Gazette as well as the West Island Gazette.

I also received the honor of being one of the writers published in a book that Mark Abley edited featuring many writers from the Pointe Claire area celebration the 100th anniversary of our city.

I have also had several poems published in anthologies.

Follow Martha: Facebook

Mud Pies And Rain Dances is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

A week ago, I shared a life success coach’s perspective on optimism, and the difference between optimism and the desire for happiness. The point was that, although optimists are “positive people”, they aren’t stuck on an idea that they need to be happy 24 hours a day. I thought I’d share a comical experience to illustrate how and why optimism works in the real world, and why most people are actually quite resilient in the face of all sorts of difficulties.

Around New Years, my mastermind group meets to create our visions for the coming year. This year we decided on meeting in Arizona. The thought of a cushy hotel surrounded by Red Rocks and the rest of Sedona’s grand, picturesque beauty, seemed perfect. However, we decided to “rough it” by camping out in Maricopa National Park.

I can’t begin to describe how ridiculous four city guys look, trekking out to the desert with our laptops. We looked more like Star Trek extras on an “away team” mission.

Captain Kirk, eat your heart out.

So, we’re getting comfortable in this foreign landscape and I start my own little exploration.

I examined every inch of the landscape trying to figure out what made this place ‘tick’. (I guess as a life success coach I do the same thing with people.)

As I completed my detective work, I found this beautiful cactus. It’s about waist high and looks completely innocent, especially compared with one of the 20 foot high Saguaros.

I’m a touchy-feely sort of character. I can’t figure things out with a quick look. I’ve got to get my hands on it. True to my “hands-on approach” to life, now I can’t keep my hands off this cactus. I’ve got to EXPERIENCE the cactus.

Real smart.

Proud of my careful approach, I gingerly place two fingers in a tweezing motion around one of the many spines coming out of my new cactus, and give it a tug.

The cactus didn’t budge.

I give a firmer tug, and a whole SECTION of the cactus came off, and because of the momentum caused by my tinkering tug, the cactus ‘attacked’ my hand, driving its’ spines into my fingers.

OUCH. This cactus hurts, especially while it impales my fingers.

Can a Life Success Coach Survive “Cactus Hands”?

It gets worse.

I attempt to remove this thing from my hand (some weak flailing) and no avail. My nearby mastermind friend takes hold of it with a pair of credit cards to keep his hands a safe distance and I pull pretty hard, but no luck. This cactus has so many spines embedded in my fingers that no amount of general pulling will remove it without taking my fingers with it.

Now my friends are laughing at my plight and I’m walking around with a cactus attached to my hand. I look like “Edward Cactus Hand”.

My friend Scott breaks out the first aid kit. Luckily, we find some plastic tweezers and I begin to painfully pull each cactus spine out of my fingers.

Here’s the punch line: I’M LAUGHING THE WHOLE TIME.

1. I’m in pain.
2. I don’t know what the consequences are of having this cactus in my hand (Infection? Poison? Who knows?)
3. And, I’m laughing about it.

Seem strange to you? It shouldn’t after my explanation.

Why was I laughing?

Even though I wasn’t happy about my predicament, I was focused on a few things that were even more important than my happiness and comfort at the time.

#1 – I Was Living Life Fully

I want to feel that I’m getting the full experience of life. Even the bad stuff… I want to experience that too.

Even though I want to avoid pain, at some level, I’m actually interested in it.

Aren’t you interested in some potentially painful situations?

Don’t you walk into situations from time to time that you think will provide some discomfort or pain?

If you have ever entered into an intimate relationship more than once, you likely knew you that pain was inevitable. You knew it was going to hurt, but you did it anyway.

I want to know what the pain of life is like. That’s part of the experience of fully living my life.

Even when the cactus pain got intense, I experienced the surprise and the vividness of living my life fully. This cactus thing was a life success coach’s adventure to say the least.

#2 – I Got to Experience Contrast

If you’ve ever experienced…

1. Relief after a ‘good cry’.
2. A sense of camaraderie or connection with someone after fighting with them.
3. A sense of accomplishment after suffering through a long, hard, work project.
4. Joy after successfully making it through a medical procedure or diagnosis where your life (or quality of life) was in question.

…then you’ve enjoyed the contrast between negative and positive experiences.

The bad times are a big part of what (by comparison) makes the good times so good.

I love to feel the change in my feelings. That’s when I feel alive.

I don’t want to feel good ONLY. If all I did was feel good all the time, I’d go insane.

If steak and lobster is your favorite food, but you eat it every single meal, eventually you’ll hate steak and lobster. Scientists have shown that the pleasure people get from the same positive experience tapers off pretty fast when repeated over and over again. After 6 or 7 steaks in a row, according to science, you’ll be more likely to ask for Ramen Noodles instead of that prime rib.

Feeling good doesn’t feel good. I want to feel “different”. I want to go from the depths of despair to ECSTASY. I love to feel the contrast in my life, and notice the difference between moments.

I loved the feeling that I got when I pulled that last cactus spine out of my hand.

The CONTRAST was awesome (painful, uncomfortable, but AWESOME)

This year, rather than sheepishly avoiding life, why not embrace LIVING IT? Even the painful parts! Why not look deeper into the things that you avoided last year. Go after them! Confront them! Capture them!

What’s YOUR Cactus?

Photo Credits

All Photos By Jeffrey Sooey – All Rights Reserved

Guest Author Bio

Jeffrey Sooey
Jeffrey T. Sooey is the CEO of JTS Advisors and the founder of Coaches Training Blog community.

Jeffrey began his study of personal success with the masters of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). This led him to an involvement with the Anthony Robbins Companies as a results coach and seminar facilitator. As his client list grew, he began implementing the technology on a professional and organizational level, focusing upon team leadership and management. Jeffrey began to redevelop the original success philosophies of Napoleon Hill by facilitating the alignment of his clients’ goals with their values and strengths. The results of his clients are immediate and lasting.

Mr. Sooey’s love for the saxophone brought him to the top of the jazz scene in New York City. He played frequently at the famous Blue Note and subsequently traveled round the world to Japan as an international Jazz recording artist. Mr. Sooey traded equities for private accounts, studying under master traders of ABN Amro and Schonfeld Securities, LLC. After leaving the Robbins organization, Jeffrey co-founded 180 Television Networks, an international media conglomerate — serving as President and Vice-Chairman. He has addressed distinguished audiences ranging from the International Coaching Federation to University of Southern California graduating MBA class of 2002. Jeffrey also contributes his skills as a motivator and speaker by giving workshops at local penitentiaries. Mr. Sooey is the President and CEO of JTS Advisors, a boutique firm offering full focus support to a select clientele.

No stranger to the water, Jeffrey’s personal interests include windsurfing and offshore yacht racing. On the weekends, Jeffrey still loves to sail and on many given evenings you may find him performing music.

Blog / Website: Coaches Training Blog

Follow Jeffrey: Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Linkedin

Life Success Coach Attacked By Cactus is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

As a success coach, I have the pleasure of seeing my clients light up with insights, answers, and a new lease on life. However, when they start coaching with me, my clients feel like “Dorothy” trying to find the Wizard of Oz when she first walked along the yellow brick road. Most of that confusion is a result of one thing… Attitude.

My job as a success coach is to remind my clients that attitude and success are intertwined.

Attitude counts. Optimism and pessimism affect your results.

Was Dorothy An Optimist?

YOU BET SHE WAS!

How would you feel if…

• Your house was hit by a tornado?
• Your life was threatened by a stranger with a pointed hat?
• You were attacked by winged monkeys?

Throughout all of this turmoil, Dorothy was a trooper (with the help of a few success coaches).

My job as a success coach is to give you some basic “Dorothy training” – to train you to be an optimist, not just when things are easy, but when you’d rather just pull the covers over your head, thinking “there’s no place like home”. A success coach needs to begin every client’s journey with a little “attitude adjustment” wizardry.

Here are a few of the key lessons I share with my clients to move them along the “yellow brick Road”, thus training them to be the ultimate optimist…

Why Bother Being An Optimist?

Pessimism has its place. You don’t want to stare a problem in the face and fail to admit that you need to do something about it.

With my clients, I always cover a few important reasons to be an optimist:

• You will enjoy life more.
• You will have better health.
• You avoid wasting valuable time waiting for bad things to happen.

What Is An Optimist?

Let’s start with what an optimist isn’t. An optimist is not someone who sticks their head in the sand. Optimists don’t lie to themselves or distract themselves in order to feel better about things in their life that aren’t going well.

In fact, optimists are sometimes the most realistic people, they simply have the faith, courage, and power to turn their lemons into lemonade. An optimist is willing to be disappointed because they can handle it when their expectations aren’t met.

We don’t give optimists enough credit for the slings and arrows that life is throwing at them.

A true optimist is resilient, bouncing back from failure. They don’t give up!

A true optimist reinvents themselves… their career, their goals, and their attitude… whenever they need to.

A true optimist takes responsibility for whatever happens because they know that they can make it better tomorrow, even if the current road is fraught with danger and problems.

How to Become an Optimist: a Success Coach’s Guide

As a success coach, I turn people into optimists all the time. How do I do it?

Here are four things I do with my clients that turns even the worst pessimists into optimists:

1. Surround yourself with optimistic people:

The peer group you surround yourself with is everything. One of the first things I do with a new client is get them to surround themselves with an optimistic peer group. This may require them to jettison a few pessimistic friends. That can be hard, but being surrounded by one naysayer after another is never worth it.

2. Have faith:

I always tell my clients,

“You have to believe in the F word… Faith”

Faith is directed imagination.

Faith takes directing your imagination towards the ideas, future, and dreams that you would like to see happen, and then believing strongly that all of that is possible. Faith is believing in something that you can’t already see.

3. Don’t seek out failure… Learn from it.

Whether they feel like it or not, I push my clients to learn from their failures. We all fail; it’s an undeniable fact. Superstar athletes, billionaires, entertainers, and presidents; they have all failed before becoming successful.

I tell my clients to expect failure, embrace it and learn from it. Using failure as a springboard to success is a sure-fire way to become an optimist!

How Do You Stay Positive?

Life isn’t always sunshine, rainbows, and lollipops. However, it’s possible to find your own pot of gold at the end of the rainbow with a little attitude adjustment.

The ultimate lesson I’ve learned from my clients? The ultimate optimism is within each of us. Our job is to find our own brand of optimism. What do you use to get you focused on the positive, even when everything around you is negative? What brand of optimism works for you?

Photo Credit

Photo Of Dorothy Is Public Domain

Guest Author Bio

Jeffrey Sooey
Jeffrey T. Sooey is the CEO of JTS Advisors and the founder of Coaches Training Blog community.

Jeffrey began his study of personal success with the masters of NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming). This led him to an involvement with the Anthony Robbins Companies as a results coach and seminar facilitator. As his client list grew, he began implementing the technology on a professional and organizational level, focusing upon team leadership and management. Jeffrey began to redevelop the original success philosophies of Napoleon Hill by facilitating the alignment of his clients’ goals with their values and strengths. The results of his clients are immediate and lasting.

Mr. Sooey’s love for the saxophone brought him to the top of the jazz scene in New York City. He played frequently at the famous Blue Note and subsequently traveled round the world to Japan as an international Jazz recording artist. Mr. Sooey traded equities for private accounts, studying under master traders of ABN Amro and Schonfeld Securities, LLC. After leaving the Robbins organization, Jeffrey co-founded 180 Television Networks, an international media conglomerate — serving as President and Vice-Chairman. He has addressed distinguished audiences ranging from the International Coaching Federation to University of Southern California graduating MBA class of 2002. Jeffrey also contributes his skills as a motivator and speaker by giving workshops at local penitentiaries. Mr. Sooey is the President and CEO of JTS Advisors, a boutique firm offering full focus support to a select clientele.

No stranger to the water, Jeffrey’s personal interests include windsurfing and offshore yacht racing. On the weekends, Jeffrey still loves to sail and on many given evenings you may find him performing music.

Blog / Website: Coaches Training Blog

Follow Jeffrey: Facebook | YouTube | Twitter | Linkedin

Was Dorthy an Optimist? A Success Coach And The “Yellow Brick Road” is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

There’s something I would like to share that I usually don’t with people. So please, hear me out. I am not a religious guy, or one to get on his knees and pray. In fact, I would almost call myself agnostic in my beliefs, although I do not even follow that to the letter. I think many people are in the same mindset as me when it comes to that. But I do respect those who are religious and have that belief system.

When I arrived here, on the island of Puerto Rico, I was a shell of a man. Soulless and broken down. I’ll spare all of the details, but most of you who regularly read my writings know the situation pretty much. For those who don’t, basically my family life back home in Chicago took a nasty dive. Unemployed, pretty much broke, and my wife wanted space. I had no where to go, so I ended up here.

So, needless to say, my condition wasn’t very good. Name any negative human emotion. I went through it. Depression, anger, resentment, vengeful thinking, etc. I would lay down at nights and curse everything, and everyone who wronged me. But then there were nights where I was the exact opposite. Tears rolling down my face, sorrowful, full of angst and remorse.

Well, one night I lay down, and of course I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t help but feel this overwhelming sorrow. I felt desperate. I finally just started to speak and ask “if anyone is listening, please, please help me”. Honestly, I wasn’t thinking of a God or Universe, or whatever you call your higher power, I just wanted WHOEVER, WHATEVER to listen. To heed my words and help me.

Soon after, I began to blog. Blogging was a tool that I used to cope with my situation, and it has helped me. And what I find even better, is that it seems to be helping others as well. Others who are going through similar situations, others who have gone through it. Was this the help that I was looking for?

On another occasion, I started to feel a little burned out as far as writing and blogging. I wondered if I should even carry on. There were times where I thought no one really cared or listened, so why go through all the trouble? For those who blog, you know what I am talking about. It can be a lot of work, and sometimes there really isn’t much reward.

But one night, again, I lay down and I ask “should I continue with this?”, among other things. Then, I begin receiving messages and comments from people that supported, and even thanked me for doing what I’m doing. Was that ANOTHER answer?

So I continue. Even if it touches, or inspires very little.

One last time, I couldn’t sleep. I just decided to begin talking aloud again. I asked about my situation, the break down of my relationship, and how it was all going to end up. Soon after, I get am email from….you guessed it. Communication began, and is going on currently. Is this an answer to my “prayer”?

“Certain thoughts are prayers. There are moments when, whatever be the attitude of the body, the soul is on its knees”.  ~ Victor Hugo

Now Playing: “Dear God” by XTC

Photo Credit

Image is Creative Commons By taliesin

First Posted At The Ballad Of Joey Flowers

Guest Author Bio

Joey Flowers
Just another blogger full of Random Thoughts and observations while he picks up the pieces and begins moving forward, sharing what he learns along the way. Be it through music, quotes, etc.

Blog / Website: The Ballad Of Joey Flowers

Sorry to disturb you, but I feel that I should be heard loud and clear… is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

I thank the challenges and obstacles that life so graciously dumps on us for making me who I am today. I am an ordinary person, but with an extraordinary zeal and optimism for life. I am a person who thrives on the concept of a fulfilled soul and not just the materialistic pleasures. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love a comfortable life, shopping until I drop dead, and eating out every evening if possible so I can escape cooking. In fact, after I have enough money I might even get a robot that will do all the mopping and cleaning while I enjoy some spicy Indian snack and a best seller.

It’s feels good to enjoy the pleasures of a comfortable life, but they give us only superficial or skin-deep happiness. I definitely want to experience the delights of life the materialistic world brings us, but I do not want them to consume me to the point that I have no substance left in my being. No matter how much we shop, eat, travel or meet new people, we will always get a “something missing” feeling if we do not have contentment in life. The money-oriented achievements and their bliss do not prepare us for the real battles that life throws at us. They don’t even come close to giving us the sense of being rooted and at peace. This is why some of us are always running after something. But even after achieving great things we are not able to fill the void in our lives.

So what is it that will bring satisfaction in abundance in our lives? I have the answer that actually works for me. It took me time, a couple of falls, and some grave mistakes but I finally got it. The best part is I didn’t know what I was looking for; I was led to the answers by a supernatural hand–the hand of my God. I would look for one thing and land on a different webpage. He showed me that it is the strength of character, lessons we learn, conviction we have in our faith, and persistence that determines the outcome of every battle. In my quest He led me to the keys that fulfill the desire of my soul, the peace that it seeks. These simple but potent talismans are forgiveness and kindness.

Today it doesn’t matter if someone agrees with me or not. The person can insult me, but I will still bless and forgive the individual. I will then go home, read my favorite book, chat with my husband, play with my pug, and have a peaceful sleep. Whereas the aggressor may waste his or her time and energy thinking about me or badmouthing me. I am a happy person because I no longer fret over my imperfections and instead concentrate on things that I can change. I am not proud of some things I have done in life, but it is because of those blunders that I am a stronger me and able to forgive others. I feel that forgiveness is the trait of a strong person. I don’t mean it in a self-important way; instead I am humbled by this realization because my God, despite being all-powerful has forgiven me.

This is how I go about implementing my strategy–everyday I wear the coat of kindness and forgiveness although some days are more of a struggle than others. But I try to end my day wearing the same coat. Some may say that forgiveness and gentleness are the traits of a weak person because the individual doesn’t have the courage to stand against adversaries. However, I think that it’s easier to hate than love; it’s more convenient to hurt or insult someone than letting go of one’s own demons, forgiving others, and walking away from the battlefield because there is no battle to fight. I have already achieved victory because I am at peace and my conscience is happy.

Forgiveness, kindness–seems like I am one of the most harmless beings. Well, don’t let that fool you because if someone tries to take something from me that is rightfully mine, I will put on a fight that will shake the conviction of the most convinced. The difference is I fight at a different level. I fight with the promise God gave me and believe in it no matter what. It is a fact that the mind is a very powerful weapon. What we think and believe influences what happens to us. Furthermore, how we feel about our belief and thoughts can help us win or loose the battle. God said “BELIEVE.” All we need to have is good intention, good thoughts, and believe that as we are being obedient and fighting for a just cause, we will achieve victory.

Good and positive thoughts that do not aim at harming someone else always generate a positive outcome so long as we do not give up on the good thoughts. This works even for people who do not believe in God. The difference is that believers see supernatural miracles beyond their imagination whereas non-believers will receive only that which they are able to imagine.

My God has taught me that I can achieve anything I want so long I do not become what I hate, and if I do not give up on my expectation just because the situation seems impossible. It’s very simple: Forgive and you will be forgiven. Bless and you will be abundantly blessed. Be thankful and you will have more things to be grateful for. What I give is what I receive, so I am not giving out negativity that will come back and bite my ankle, head, or whatever. But there is more to it than what I will receive. This living has brought me peace, joy, expectation of the impossible, and a peaceful sleep.

Armed with kindness and forgiveness, I now face each day as if it’s my last day on earth and end up enjoying life. I am now able to see the blessings that I already have instead of keeping a watch on when my next lot of blessings will be released. Yes, I want more in life, but I am also enjoying my present stock. If I am to die today, I will have no regrets even though there are many unfulfilled dreams. This is because I have people in my life who love me for who I am; I have seen the love of my four-legged son who lights up my husband’s face with a smile even on the darkest of days, and above all because I am at peace.

My tribute to God

Oh radiant God, you are so beautiful
Although you lead me to difficult paths
You caress my lips with the song of hope
You tickle my senses with the excitement of a beautiful tomorrow
And you plant me firmly in the contented today.
Oh radiant God, I love you, and I am in love with life because of you.

Happy living everyone.

Photo Credits

Microsoft Office Clip Art Collection

Guest Author Bio

Debarati Deb Mitra
My best form of expression is writing. It is my passion and writing gives me a sense of achievement. At this point in life, I am a homemaker blessed with a wonderful husband and an adorable pug. I am striving towards making my passion a reality. I am trying to reach people’s hearts with my words.

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A Different Approach To Winning The Battles In Life is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Many times I have wondered what if. Many times I have gone through things in my mind and let doubt, fear, and regret creep in. And also there were many times that I have just said that I wish I could start over, or get a second chance. I don’t think I’m alone when I say that there are a ton of things I would like to do over.

Well, you know what? You only get one life, and that life is short. Too short for what ifs, regrets, and dwelling in the past. I believe that we do get second chances in life, even though sometimes you have to wait for them, but it is our responsibility how we live our lives, no matter what the situation is, good or bad.

Another thing is to trust yourself and stay strong. Don’t let doubt or fear get into your head. Sometimes we can be our own worst enemy. I am guilty of that. I’ve let fear, doubt, and regret enter my mind many times, and all that does is stop you.

Become unstoppable.

We have to learn to say enough is enough and live even though we, or life isn’t perfect.

Photo Credits

“Fear” by Charmaine Stewart (MorgueFile)

Originally Posted October 1, 2011 at The Ballad Of Joey Flowers

Guest Author Bio

Joey Flowers
Just another blogger full of random thoughts and observations while he picks up the pieces and begins moving forward, sharing what he learns along the way. Be it through music, quotes, etc.

Blog / Website: http://theballadofjoeyflowers.wordpress.com/

I Just Want To Start Things Over is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN