To do two things at once is to do neither.
Publilius Syrus, Roman slave, first century B.C.

Don’t look now, but there’s something else you need to do.

The problem is there is always one more thing to do, one more task to add to the endless list of tasks to be completed in any one given life span. Are we really meant to do so much in a progressively smaller and smaller window of time?

This week I read an intriguing article in The New Atlantis by Christine Rosen entitled “The Myth of Multitasking.” It was written a few years ago, but I can’t help feeling that the urgency of its message is more profound today than ever before. I know myself that I have proudly boasted my multitasking prowess at every job interview for the last couple of decades and I seriously thought I was accomplishing more than one thing at a time as I answered phone calls, typed email messages and passed off pantomime instructions to nearby co-workers.

Truth be told, there’s no such thing as multitasking. Really. It’s physically and psychologically impossible. Attempts at multitasking carry with them their own litany of risks. Driving while using a cell phone is one. Mounting stress to do more and more is another. The constant shifting from one activity to another has fostered a new condition called “attention deficit trait”. One writer believes multitasking is leading us into an attention deficit recession  and in a 2005 research study funded by Hewlett-Packard and conducted by the Institute of Psychiatry at the University of London, it was found that “Workers distracted by e-mail and phone calls suffer a fall in IQ more than twice that found in marijuana smokers.”

When I first drafted this article I included 10 steps to aid in unplugging ourselves from the Machiavellian multitasking machine. For better or worse its turns out I’m not a 10 steps kind of woman. I just don’t think life’s answers are that easy. I don’t have a checklist of the perfect mate or the ideal job or what will make me happy. I suppose that goes back to my Buddhist leanings, realizing that there will always be something else beyond the list to be craved, to be yearned for, something in the future that is pushing its way into the present.

With that in mind and shifting our view of multitasking as a myriad of future tasks vying for our present attention, try to treat them as a buffet of choices. If there are too many things screaming for your immediate attention then stop, take a few breaths and sort them by time-lines and priorities. If 12 things must be completed today, which of those tasks need to be done before lunch, before 10am, and so on. Can something be delegated to someone else or wait until tomorrow? Is there a way to combine the tasks or even eliminate a few? Some things, after all, don’t really even need to be done. Many are leftover from the “we’ve always done it that way”closet and they just don’t fit anymore. Wish them well and send them to the appropriate refuse container.

More than anything, be gentle on yourself. Make space in your day for a good heartfelt chat with a friend, a replenishing walk in nature or time spent in reflection and meditation. And never forget the power of a long, relaxing bath. It will set multitasking on its ear, and that’s not such a bad thing.

Additional Reading & References:

The Myth of Multitasking by Christine Rosen, The New Atlantis, Spring 2008.

The Autumn of the Multitaskers by Walter Kirn, The Atlantic, November 2007.

Study funded by Hewlett-Packard and conducted by the Institute of Psychiatry at the University of London – source BBC News, April 22, 2005.

Definition of “human multitasking from Wikipedia.

Photo Credit

Hands of Worker by Victor Bezrukov

You Really Can’t Do It All is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Kylen O. Lefave reflects on how to deal with the stress of living in such uncertain times, and how to turn our fears and anxieties into a positive force for the common good.

Given the headlines of late, I am sure it comes as no surprise to hear people say that we are now living in a time of tremendous uncertainty. With civil unrest and uprisings, economic crisis, climate change and increasing natural disasters happening around the globe over the past few months, it seems that now more than ever we are being reminded of how fragile and precious life is.

It can definitely be all consuming to be bombarded with constant newscasts of such intense and tragic events. And if you happen to be a news junkie watching 24-hour news networks, I can only imagine it would be extremely difficult to feel good about the state of the world and life in general.

However challenging it may be, it is in times such as these that we must individually and collectively find ways to become more positive within ourselves so as to not feed and perpetuate more negative energy into the world.

How we choose to respond to negative, unfortunate circumstances can create a massive shift in our overall quality of life. Rather than allow ourselves to fall victim to our fears and to make ourselves physically ill by internalizing the stress that accompanies such devastating events, we can choose to use this stress as an opportunity to make a conscious effort to fully appreciate and cherish every moment we have. This is a wake-up call, if you will: a lesson in learning how to live in the moment and enjoy the simple things in life.

I’m not suggesting we put our heads in the sand and pretend that everything is hunky dory in the world because, truth be told, it clearly is not. However, what we can do is be informed and prepared, and make choices based on what is realistically within our realm of control.

As humans, too many of us have adopted the unfortunate and counter-productive tendency to stress about things over which we have absolutely no control.

Within the “Serenity Prayer” are some of the most powerful words of wisdom to apply to our lives. These words are definitely very appropriate in these times of uncertainty…

“Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Being informed about global events is important as long as we do not allow ourselves to be negatively affected and consumed by these events and making ourselves ill with stress creating.

This stress is a breeding ground for fear, anxiety, helplessness and apathy. Limiting our exposure to mainstream media can drastically reduce ones tendency to be bogged down by such dreariness. Being selective of which news sources we watch, and avoiding those that sensationalize and perpetuate constant negative energy, also does wonders.

It is important to remember that despite all of the negative events that occur around the globe, there are countless wonderful things happening as well. The news just chooses not to report them.

It’s important to find balance in what we consciously choose to watch, read and think about by making sure to include lots of humourous, positive and “feel good” stories. This can make a world of difference to our collective psyches.

Positive stories can serve as a reminder of the beauty that surrounds us and the importance of acknowledging and embracing it in order to cultivate feelings of love and positivity rather than focusing our energy on the pockets of chaos that seemingly plague the media.

As for alleviating the stress, the only thing truly within our control is to be as prepared for them as much as we possibly can. Stressing about whether or not these disasters and tragedies may or may not happen, and when, is emotionally draining, not to mention a complete waste of energy. Being prepared is an important way that we can empower ourselves to be in a much better position to focus on living and enjoying our lives now.

We cannot predict the future of things to come; however, we can certainly do what is within our power to create a better future. Our time is too precious to waste with needless conflict, worry and strife.

Let’s be grateful for all the little things. Let’s fully and completely appreciate the people in our lives, make amends where amends need to be made and express love, kindness and compassion to others, whether they be family, friend, stranger or even foe.

Let’s connect on the simple common ground that we are all, each and every one of us, living our “Life as a Human”. We all breathe the same air and look out into the same magical Universe. We all share our lives and dreams on this beautiful and amazing planet. This is our global community and we all call it…Home.

So let’s work together to make this world a better, happier place, despite what the headlines say about the uncertainty of our circumstances. But before we can truly create any significant shifts towards reaching that destination, we must first remember that the journey begins within our own hearts (for more on this topic read my Life As A Human article “World Peace Begins With Inner Peace“).

Let’s do whatever is within our own personal power now to cultivate inner peace, well being and happiness on an unshakable core level and create a ripple effect that reaches out from one heart to another until we infect the entire globe with the power of altruistic love, releasing the grip of crippling fear.

Namasté

Photo Credit

“Tenderness” Alice Popkorn

How to Deal with the Stress of Living in Uncertain Times is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

When you feel stuck, or caught up in the challenges of life, change your life story by changing the way you see the world. Literally.

I’d like to offer two simple practices that I have found helpful for interrupting stressful, stuck experiences.

The first is what I call Sky practice. It’s very simple. If you’re a city or suburban dweller, chances are your eyes are almost always at human level or toward the ground. The human-made landscape around us reinforces this in so many ways. What I have found is that because my very eyes tend to be fixed on all things human, it’s that much harder to let go and experience the spaciousness of the world.

So, sky practice. Deliberately stopping and looking at the sky. Letting the sky fill you, until everything else drops off. Give it a try, especially if you’re having a difficult day.

The second practice is also for dealing with challenges, especially those related to rejection, failure, and stuckness.

What is it? Doing inverted yoga poses. It’s about flipping the world over, which helps to flip your perspective. I recognized this keenly while doing Sirsasana, which is considered the king of yoga poses.

However, any inverted pose can offer you the opportunity to see the world anew. Down dog, for example, is a pretty accessible pose for most people. Uttanasana is another one. Inversions offer physical shifts in the body, which assist the mind in shifting as well.

Do you have any particular practices you do to “flip your current life story over”? Please add your comments below.

Photo Credit

“Cloud” Deanster1983@Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

“Head stand” Runner’s World

“Downward Dog or Down Dog” women-health-info.com

Flip Your Current Life Story Over is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Tips for avoiding stress and staying sane amidst the frenzy of the holiday season.

It’s the holiday season again. For some it is the happiest time of the year, but for others it’s a time of stress. No matter what category you fall into, I’d like to suggest that you start a new tradition this year, and that is to follow your heart and only do those things that bring you joy. Now I know that is a huge order because the universal energy is an extreme force during this time of year. It seems the universal focus is buy, buy, buy and that energy sucks us into a holiday black hole.

One way to curtail the madness is to recognize and truly observe the spirit of the holiday. Please don’t think I’m not asking to give up the bountiful smorgasbord that awaits that special day. Lord knows you’ve been waiting for Aunt Sadie’s cornbread dressing for a year and heaven forbid that I would suggest eliminating anyone from being “The Biggest Loser”.

I’m talking about really taking some quiet reflective time to love and appreciate your life and all of the blessings received throughout the year: the sustenance of family and friends that adds to the enrichment of your existence and praying for those whose relatives and friends have passed away, leaving them here to define loneliness and fight off feelings of abandonment. Be grateful for the food and shelter you possess and maintain while you pray for the people of Haiti as they endure the toughest trials they have ever had to face.

Starting the season off in this way sets the precedent for an open heart to thrive in the peace on earth, goodwill towards men theme.

Another age old tradition that needs reconsideration is the retail shopping frenzy. Every year we fall prey to the retailer’s ploy to get us into the stores at the crack of dawn for those so called “super bargains”. They believe it will put them in the “black” financially. By cutting a few prices, their stockholders can celebrate the season without thoughts of cutting a lot of staff. They advertise a fantastic bargain for the “stuff” that shoppers want most. But much to shoppers’ dismay, they find that the item is sold out because there were only one or two items for sale at that price. Just to keep from going home empty handed and getting some rest (after all, it is 4am), the shopper decides to stay and see what other deals may be found, while “visions of sugar plums dance in the heads” of the retailer.

Now I’ve never experienced one of these early morning sales, but I can’t imagine receiving the ultimate in customer service at that time of the morning. I would think excessive crowds would bring out the worst in salespeople who are operating on limited sleep, because most retail employees are pushed to the brink during the holiday season. They work a tireless amount of hours to be there for the last-minute shoppers, the professional returners and the gift card redeemers. Many times the only memories some of them have of the holiday season is watching the boxing match over the last X-box or WII system in the last store in a 50 mile radius.

So please have a heart for those who are there to serve. If you’re going out, be kind and play nice with the others — or better yet, just stay home and rest.

Photo Credit

“Holiday shoppers” AP Photo/ The Tennessean, John Partipilo

Tis the Season to Be Frazzled, Fa La La La La is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Life As A Human Likes is a weekly feature of blogs and websites we love. This week, we feature ways to simplify, streamline and downsize your life so you can ultimately live with less mental and physical clutter. Everywhere you look these days, you’ll hear about minimalism. But the minimalism, doesn’t mean stripping down to nothing with no benefits. Instead, it makes room for the things that really matter.

#1 Rowdy Kittens

I love Rowdy Kittens, the blog about social change through simple living. Tammy Strobel, author of Simply Car-free and Smalltopia, created RowdyKittens mostly to keep friends updated on her life but it has since grown into a community. Tammy writes about downsizing, entrepreneurship, living without a car, and simple, minimalist living.

#2 Be more with less

Be more with less is about simplifying your life, getting rid of stress, and “more time and less stuff, and more joy with less obligation.” Courtney Carver makes no secret about the fact that she’s made mistakes: “I have made a bunch of money and spent even more. I have been too busy, too tired, too full, too stressed and too overworked for too long and I am changing my ways.” Courtney makes minimalism seem very doable — and she has an engaging way of inspiring others.

#3 365 Less Things

One woman’s 365 day resolution to “declutter every wardrobe, bench, shelf, under bed, pantry and garage space in my home by giving away, throwing away or selling one item everyday for the next twelve months.” It’s a good approach — bite-sized pieces of clutter. I had to follow her RSS to find out if she can do it…it’s like a minimalist soap opera!

#4 Marc and Angel Hack Life

Mark and Angel started a blog to share practical thoughts on  life, hacks, productivity, aspirations, health, work, tech and general self improvement and more. They promise you will not find “a regurgitation of someone else’s point of view on our site. This is the ultimate site for lists like “50 Things Everyone Should Know How to Do”. The only puzzling part is the ad link for Russian Brides. Doesn’t seem to fit with the brand.

#5 Squawkfox

This blog bills itself as the site where “frugal living is sexy, delicious, and fun.” It features tips to live creatively and frugally whether you’re interested in travel, home and organizing, holidays, recipes…whatever. With the holiday season coming up, this site is the perfect place to get ideas that will only add to the fun and leave your credit cards a bit less stressed.

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Life As A Human Likes…6 is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

I’m a big fan of massage, both giving and receiving (though generally you’ll find a lot more people willing to be on the receiving end!) It is the oldest described medical technique, being expounded in 4700-year-old tome The Yellow Emperor’s Book of Medicine. Hippocrates also said that all physicians should be familiar with “rubbing”. As a family doctor, I decided to take this dictum to heart a few years ago and familiarize myself with this ancient art.

Before I go further I should state that an RMT or Registered Massage Technician is the perfect way to go for top-notch professional massages. Many of them have special training in areas such as lymphatic drainage for cancer patients and I am a very frequent referrer to RMTs. Just remember one thing, the word “masseuse” refers only to female practitioners whereas the male practitioner should be more appropriately called a “masseur”.

Using a my medical training, extensive reading plus some hands-on in parts of the world as varied as the Wat Pho Healing Temple in Thailand, the Yucatan Peninsula (Mayan arvigo or abdominal massage) and the Mizpe Hayamim overlooking the Sea of Galilee in Israel, I’ve started to do massage myself for family and friends and I occasionally offer brief simple therapy for patients who can’t afford an RMT.

I don’t practice any Thai techniques, but I do know there have been recent advances in the treatment of autism using this ancient art. Thai massage is an amalgam of both Ayurvedic (ancient Hindu) and Buddhist techniques incorporating sen lines which are much like acupuncture meridians. The Wat Pho Healing Temple features ancient murals depicting these lines and their distribution (as well as a massive reclining Buddha not to be missed).

Thai massage is very different from the more traditional Swedish massage in that many of the moves look more like wrestling holds or even two-person gymnastic exercises. I should know, having partaken of a Thai massage at the Wat Pho. One move involved the masseur putting his foot in my arm pit and yanking, which is identical to a technique used to replace dislocated shoulders! I sure felt great afterwards though.

Personally, I stick more to the techniques developed by 19th-century Swedish physiologist and fencing-master Per Ling. With its combination of gliding, kneading, rubbing, friction and pressing, this technique is what most people think of and receive when going for a massage — the so-called Swedish Massage.

One of the most important things in massage practice is setting the mood for a relaxing experience. I like to use low light, pleasant music and a careful choice of oil. Oil come in two forms, the non-volatile carrier such as sweet almond oil and the volatile essential oils. The latter are highly concentrated and a few drops in the carrier oil go a long way.

A few years ago I was traveling in Nubia and found a vendor who extracted blue lotus oil by leaving the petals buried in clay amphorae in the desert for months. The plant was sacred to the ancient Egyptians and is often depicted being sniffed in ancient reliefs, possibly for mood elevating or health giving effects. The plant is exceedingly rare. Needless to say, I part with this treasure very sparingly but have others such as essence of frankincense and myrrh I also purchased in Nubia.

Everyone approaches giving a massage differently. Scalp, neck and back massage can be done just about anywhere and a fight usually breaks out among my office staff if I have a break in my day and offer my services.

More localized massage can be done if certain areas are afflicted by spasm or tension. It’s important not to massage areas with varicose veins, skin infections or lesions and certain types of injures such as nerve impingements where massage could actually aggravate the problem.

A full body massage should be done with the individual appropriately draped and in a warm room. For the more modest you can work around a fair number of garments in a reasonably efficient manner.

I usually start with the feet and work up, though many would commence in the back and neck area. Using the appropriate oil, if available, or even lotion in a pinch a little, I begin with gliding or effleurage across the soles of the feet to warm the tissue. After this comes thumb turns and individual toe massage (followed by effleurage and kneading or petrissage) of the calf muscles. I also give similar treatment to the hamstring, abductors and adductors of the upper leg and the “glutes” (gluteus muscles, the largest and sometimes most abused muscle group of the body).

It is crucial to massage towards the heart as the idea is to move blood and lymph-containing toxins such as lactic acid away from muscle to the central circulation. Massage also relaxes muscle directly by activating a stretch reflex in individual muscle fibers.

Moving to the low back, I use gliding to warm the paraspinal muscles, thumb circles up and down the spine, then kneading or petrissage. Around the shoulders and traps especially you may find muscular “knots” which can be pressed out. It’s an amazing feeling when a hard knot simply melts away.

The neck should be massaged very gently as it is a sensitive and delicate portion of the body. I use gliding and gentle thumb circles mainly, then move up to gently massage the scalp with my fingertips.

Next get your client to roll over on their back, again ensuring they are appropriately covered or draped. From here I start with the quadriceps muscles on the front of the upper leg.

If your subject has constipation or irritable bowel syndrome (NOT inflammatory bowel disease) then gentle abdominal massage can also help. The Maya of Central America and the Yucatan have a technique called arvigo massage dedicated totally to the abdomen.

I find it helpful to visualize the colon as an inverted U about three feet long starting in the right lower abdomen, moving up and across above the belly-button and then down to the lower left side. Gentle circles and gliding ALWAYS moving in the direction of digestion can be helpful.

The main muscles of the chest are the pectoralis major and minor. These muscles can take a lot of abuse and every once in a while I’ll see in my office what I call the “gravel shoveler’s heart attack”. Some poor guy or gal comes in with severe left sided chest pain and think they are dying. After a bit of history you discover they decided to singlehandedly shovel and spread several tons of gravel on their driveway the previous day, stressing the left pec major unmercifully. Fortunately this “heart attack” settles with some ice and anti-inflammatories (warning: always see a doctor with this type of pain; don’t self diagnose).

Massaging the pectoralis muscles is easier in men than women due to the fact that these muscles are in close proximity to the breasts; however, depending on the level of endowment this obstacle can usually be overcome with mutual cooperation, repositioning and sometimes a bit of a sense of humor.

Massage of the breast bone or sternum can be helpful for the sterno-costal joints where the ribs attach to the breast bone. I see a lot of costo-chondritis or inflammation of these oft-abused joints. Gliding and light thumb turns seem to work well here.

Finally the hands and arms are massaged in a manner similar to the legs but more gently. I finish with a very gentle fingertip massage of the facial muscles and a forehead press which I simply hold for five to ten seconds.

My advice afterwards is to drink a glass of cool mineral water and take a few minutes to “feel the glow”.

Photo Credits

“Massage”

“Wat Pho Temple Photos“

“Traditional Thai Massage”

“Indian Head Massage”

This article first appeared in “Family Practice”

Massage: The Healing Touch is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Stretching can benefit you in ways you never imaged — body, mind and soul.

As a massage therapist, I am frequently asked about stretching exercises. This is exciting to me because I feel the individual I am working with desires growth — and expanding the body is a good place to start. But it’s just the beginning to expansion.

When asked, I show my clients an array of stretching techniques to expand the multiple muscle tissue in the upper and lower sections of the body. Just as they would expect. After they perform a few repetitions, they begin to understand the theory of stretching and why it’s so important — because in a very few minutes, tension melts away and they feel relief and relaxation. But I don’t stop with the typical forms of stretching. I suggest an overall expansion of body, mind and, hopefully, soul. By this time, there is a bewildered look on the faces of the clients. The thought of stretching something intangible is, well, a bit of a stretch for them.

First I start by teaching them to breathe properly. As crazy as this sounds most of us haven’t taken a deep cleansing breath since we were smacked on the bottom and made to cry when we were born. That first smack seemed to be a cruel action, but I believe it had a two-fold objective. The obvious reason is to get us to open the ribcage and develop our lung capacity. But the very subtle reason is to remind us that when life smacks us hard, we’ll have to learn to breathe deeply to get through whatever adversity we are facing.

For this session, I put on music to allow clients to breathe to different rhythms and tones. I encourage slow, rhythmic breaths and short and quick exhalations resembling the Lamaze method of breathing. Changes in the tempo of the music are likened to the smooth or rapid changes that life brings and demands deep, deliberate breathing.

Then I move to stretching the heart muscle. This is somewhat of a by-level stretch because you must engage the imagination and the heart.

I ask my client to imagine an internal pink cloud floating within their head, permeating every curve within their brain. This cloud represents the purest love imaginable. Once the cloud is created, I ask that it become mobile and float down the center of the brain, continuing the path down into the skull, neck, into the chest and ending at the heart. I then ask that the cloud begin to grow. The client uses imagination to expand the cloud. It surrounds the heart and penetrates it with love. Every deep breath expands the cloud and the heart is immersed in love. At this point, the client may become overwhelmed with emotion — and if tears flow, a release is taking place and a mild healing is occurring.

The next stretch involves the brain and motor activity and is presented as homework. I challenge the client to scramble routine directives to the body by changing movement and actions. The brain is made to re-think the movement and coordinate any awkwardness into the routine. Some examples are:

• In the morning, if you walk forward into the bathroom, turn around and walk backwards or crawl (in any direction) into the bathroom
• In the shower, if you’re used to washing your face first and working your way down, start a new routine by washing your feet first and work your way up
• And there’s always the challenge of changing your routes to work and frequently visited places.

The slightest changes can allow the greatest benefits because the brain reconfigures it’s directives, thus permitting it to be exercised.

Now, I dare you to stretch. Stretch in every physical and mental way you can imagine.

And I promise you will be in the best physical and mental shape of your life!

Photo Credits

“so pants my soul” SaltoftheEarth @ Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

Bend, Stretch and Reach for the Sky is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

There is a phenomenon on the Island of Roatan, nestled in the Caribbean Sea, off the coast of Honduras, that I learned of soon after coming here — time stands still. Not to be confused with the classic science-fiction movie “When the earth stood still.” But I’m sure if you looked hard enough some comparisons could be made.

It’s hard to keep track of time on Roatan. In my former life in Canada pretty much everything was scheduled, I had it down-pat. Monday to Friday belonged to my employer. The alarm was set to go off every weekday morning at 6:30 AM. Coffee always took first priority, and actually that hasn’t changed, but that is where the similarities end.

I liked my job well enough. I was quite proud of what I achieved in my career as a structural package designer. I know, many of you are saying, “huh.” Definitely not a mainstream career choice, but it was rewarding. And still, I longed for the weekends, those two days a week when I didn’t set the alarm. Those two days when I could work in my garden (in the summer, of course.) When I could spend time with family and friends, or just go for a long walk with my dog.

The thing was, I had a lot of stuff, and I had to maintain the pace that I did because I believed that my purpose in life was to acquire more stuff.

And then I came to Roatan…

I still wake up most mornings by 6:30 AM, actually quite often earlier so I can watch the sunrise. But I don’t set an alarm anymore, I don’t need to, I wake up that early because I want to, not to pursue more stuff — stuff just goes mouldy on Roatan if you don’t use it regularly enough. It also requires using up time and energy to dust stuff I used to have that was just for looking at — aka knick knacks, objects d’ art, status symbols — you get my drift.

I do have things to do each day on Roatan. And some days I’m extra busy, but that’s okay because everything I do here revolves around Just Being. That was the first phase of the “three months ago” phenomenon.

The second phase is not having a seasonal point-of-reference. It used to be that no matter the event — big, small, or somewhere in-between— I could remember how long ago it happened based on whether it was in the spring, summer, fall or winter.

Starting the garden in early May, digging in the soil that crumbled between my fingers, the frigid days of winter had released their grip, the blanket of snow and muddied ice all but gone. Longer, warmer, sunlit days were doing their part to soften the land. The determined crocuses had already pushed their way through weeks earlier, soft, velvet purple blooms, to impatient to wait for the snow to be gone.

It was a warm July evening when we had the party outside on the back deck, to celebrate my daughter coming home from college. While in the background, the sound of crickets chirping, the flicker of tiki torches bending to the gentle night breeze. The scent of citronella, used to ward off mosquitoes, wafting by.

I remember it was October when I started that new job. I can still smell the crisp frost tinged air, and enjoyed the glorious fall colours of crimson and gold, as I commuted through the countryside on my first day.

It was an icy day in January when I skidded off that same road and landed in a snow bank—only my pride was hurt.

There were chores to do according to the season too!

Spring cleaning, summer yard work, fall gutter cleaning, winter furnace maintenance.

While, on Roatan, it’s always summer, my point of reference is lost.

I was working in a garden-bed, clipping spent hibiscus blooms, trimming back ginger plants, and adding compost to the soil. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself, when I considered what a great gardening season it had been, and realized it was the middle of January.

The leaves don’t come off the trees each fall. The jungle foliage is always lush. There is no need to pack away the t-shirts and bathing suits and replace them with scarves and winter boots. The hummingbirds never migrate to warmer climates, and the chickens don’t seem to care what time of year it is either. I can just as easily see a mother hen being followed around by her young brood in April as in November.

So how do I keep track of time?

I used to fret that I had no idea when things had happened. I couldn’t even remember an event had just been the week before. But this is Roatan, and fretting about such things is a waste of time. Quite honestly, when living a life of Just Being it doesn’t really matter.  So I don’t worry about it anymore. No matter what I’m talking about, no matter what the event was, if asked, I just say, “It happened three months ago.”

Photo Credits

All Photos © Genny Ross-Barons

Three Months Ago… is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

Luke and I went for a long walk today. We ended up at the park I used to take him to when he was younger. We swung on the swings, played on the teeter totter, did yoga, pull ups, push ups and laughed until our sides hurt. Lost in blissful moments that flew by like bees; lost in the moments of now.

The sound of the wind in the trees called to me like a long lost love, and I told Luke I was going to sit for a while.

I went and sat on the grass, listened to the wind and fell into a deep meditation. I listened to the wind. My thoughts moved and danced in the sky like the rustling leaves, and my heartbeat like the wings of a slow motion hummingbird. The traffic going by in the background and the sound of children playing was like the accompaniment to a symphony of natural sound so powerful, it carried me away to a non-spatial place where the ideas of holding, hiding and resistance disappeared.

It’s absurd. The way we all rush. Honk our horns, talk fast to the person on the other end of the phone about our busy lives. Go on and on about things that don’t matter at all. Rush here, rush there. Always rushing. The only thing that we are rushing closer to is the end. But why?

My thoughts, so slow. No cause, no effect. There is only now. This moment. There is no rushing. Not for me, not for anyone. Watching life unfold of its natural accord, and being present for that miracle, resonates with me. Everything else is absurd.

My meditation went on for some time. My son came and sat next to me at the very same moment a bee stung my foot. I laughed and marvelled at the amalgamation of pain and pleasure.

Bees sting, grass blows in the wind, children laugh, thoughts come and go. Muhammad Ali shadow boxes in my brain. I am a silly fool, just like everyone else.

We fight so hard for the right to carry our baggage. Clinging like lost and lonely children to emotions from the past; clinging so hard out of fear of who we would have to be without it.

I have to know who I am without crutches. Without drama. Without the holding, clinging, ego, pain, desire, emotional baggage: All the parts of me that are just forms of pain seeking release.

When I let go, I did not fall apart. I fell together.

Photo Credit

Hummingbird Wings Landing #2 Creativity+ @ Flickr.com. Creative Commons. Some Rights Reserved.

Falling Together is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN

I dislike the expression “It is what it is” but find myself falling back on it when I have nothing else to contribute to a conversation. I use it at home, at work, at play, when it’s clear there’s nothing else to say or when I don’t care to elaborate on a subject.

“My kid’s sick, I won’t be coming to work today… It is what it is.”

“I was in a car accident, dinner will be late… It is what it is.”

C’est la vie sounds better, seems good humoured, implies a certain open-armed abandon like Tony Soprano’s ‘Whatcha gonnna do?’ whereas there’s an implicit finality to ‘It is what it is.’ Full stop. End of subject. Yet some find the expression mildly profound and will often chime in: “Yes, it IS what it is, how true, how true… “

As much as I dislike it, it can be a great little standby for moments that quite clearly call for something stronger but I just can’t be bothered with a confrontation. “It is what it is (Mind Your Own Business).” “It is what it is (Bite me).”

Lately I’ve been having trouble sleeping. (No wonder,eh?) They say you shouldn’t go to bed despondent. That you should resolve what’s distressing you before retiring for the evening. If you can’t sleep, you should just get up and clean the house, go ahead and bake a cake, clean out your closet. (Who are ‘they,’ anyway?) This is impractical. It would cause too much upheaval and wake everyone else in the house. We have to be at work and school in the morning, have to get up and do it all over again five days a week. Partly why I can’t sleep, I guess.

I try to reign in the heebie jeebies, the 3:00 am shoulda-woulda-couldas, but get so worked up by my thoughts in the wee hours that I start believing them. I toss and turn, envisioning So-’n-So, who ticked me off during the day, sleeping like a baby.

Eventually I do fall asleep. And by morning, the Brain Trolls, the issues that seemed so monstrous, so dire in the wee hours — The Mortgage, The Rotting Fence, the nagging buzzing of Unfinished Business — have all gone back under the bridge.

Some of the wackier nocturnal ideas I’ve had could easily be caused by mismanaged blood sugar. But, at the risk of sounding like Popeye, I yam what I yam. I’m a writer. Not all of it can be put down to Kielbasa and crackers at midnight.

I must remember that not every thought that comes into my head is necessarily true. I have to learn to quell my thoughts. Channel my tendencies, resist the ever present impulse to write and rewrite the script, put words in people’s mouths. But, on the same hand, I must honour and accept this part of me as well. In other words, it is what it is (F@%# the begrudgers).

Photo Credit

Courtesy of INCITE

It Is What It Is is a post from: LIFE AS A HUMAN