Today let’s talk about detachment.
Has it ever felt like you were getting sucked into the drama of someone else’s world?
As I experienced that, sometimes I had to step away – detach myself – from certain people. It didn’t feel natural, because I was going against my innate compassion, but in getting wrapped up in the chaos of another person’s life, I wasn’t doing myself any good. I had a good friend who I called an emotional train wreck waiting to happen daily. I finally decided I had to get away from the insanity of his world, to maintain sanity in my world. I wasn’t doing anything useful supporting him as long as he continued the same behaviors. So I had to emotionally step back – detach – to take care of myself. It was hard to do, but detaching gave me a new peace in my world.
Have you ever struggled to detach from the drama someone else creates?
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The Microsoft Office Clip Art Collection
Dan L. Hays offers encouragement for adult children of alcoholics.
The podcasts of these episodes can be found at: Minute to Freedom
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Dan, I couldn’t agree more!
Detaching yourself from someone in your life who constantly wants to draw you into their turmoil and drama is just self-preservation. Still, it can be very painful, especially if you were close with this person.
A few years ago, I had to make the agonizing decision to sever all ties with a friend I had known since high school. This person reveled in being involved in unhealthy romantic relationships which always ended badly for her. Despite my support and advice ( which she always requested) for her to take stock of her life and make better choices, she refused.
Instead, she continued to make the same choices, and preferred to play the victim for sympathy. I had to end our friendship to preserve my peace and sanity. It was difficult though necessary.
Terez – thanks for stopping by to comment. Sounds like you really get this post! I have had long term friendships like that which I had to let go of, for similar reasons to your high school friend. Even worse when they ask for counsel, and then do the unhealthy thing anyway.
And yes, it can be very painful to make that kind of break. I’ve got another post coming soon called “Tough Love” about that very thing – and how though necessary, it can be very tough on the one setting the boundary and saying “that’s not OK anymore.”
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Dan