“Mama always told me not to look into the sights of the sun / Oh but mama that’s where the fun is…”
— “Blinded By the Light” by Bruce Springsteen
As stupid as it sounds, coming from the writer of a blog called Conduit of Joy!, I think I am finally beginning to get that the authentic enjoyment of our own lives is the reason that we are on Earth. Of course, I’ve heard the theory, but I feel like I am really getting it now.
Our lives, our existences are supposed to be filled with joy and fun. That is in fact, the whole point. We are supposed to embrace and experience everything in front of us as fully as we can. Why bother inhabiting these fabulously sensory-rich bodies if we don’t use them to experience the delights of the world fully? Why else would we have been put here with lips to kiss, eyes to see, skins to feel, noses to smell with? See Lisa’s article at the blog Practically Intuitive , which encourages you to live life in your body to the max!
It’s All About Me
Ever since I decided that I didn’t really care what people think of me anymore, I’ve been liberated. I made a conscious decision to have more of what I consider fun, not what anyone else considers fun. Since I made this decision, I really have had more what I consider fun in my life.
Last year I decided I finally wanted to have a birthday party for myself, one that really reflected what I truly desired in a birthday party. I didn’t care what other people wanted for me, it was ALL ABOUT ME. It was my vision of what “my best party ever” would be. For me, this included a hall, mandatory costumes for guests, a male belly dancer, a tarot reader, a DJ, circus food, drinking, and lots of dancing.
I thought of a theme that would epitomize all the fun that I hoped to have. I decided the theme would be “Bohemian Circus”. “What the hell does that mean?” you ask Exactly. There is no definition of “Bohemian Circus” except for whatever definition you make up yourself.
On the invitation, I insisted that all guests arrive in costume. I even warned that those that did not arrive in costume would be costumed at the door. I lived up to my threats too. I placed a box of hats, boas, scarves and other “Bohemian Circus” accoutrements at the door.
This caused great anxiety amongst some potential party guests. They didn’t know how to conform to this idea. I told anyone who asked that the “Bohemian Circus” theme was up to them. In other words, whatever they thought it meant, that’s how they should costume themselves.
Shed Your Skin, Let the Fun Begin
My whole point was that I wanted guests to come somewhere where they were forced to shed their usual identities and create new ones, just for the evening. In being a party fascist, I was forcing people to go out of their comfort zones and experiment with a new or normally-unexplored parts of their personalities.
Also, I was weeding out the duds amongst party guests. After all, why punish those who were actually willing to experiment with a different persona by allowing those who really wouldn’t relinquish any of their “real world” personas at all to attend? I didn’t want any judging going on. Just fun.
To my delight, people I didn’t expect to, actually came in costumes. They were willing to go out on a limb, just for me. To me this was the biggest gift they could have given me. They stretched themselves to make me happy. Some not only came in costume — they came in outrageous costumes. Thanks again, adventurous souls!
Those in the outrageous costumes had the most fun. They became someone else and delighted others in becoming that other person. This was apparent in their own laughter at themselves, and in the delighted laughter of others with them.
It was easier to break down social boundaries at the “Bohemian Circus” than at other parties. No one “knew” who or what anyone was in real life, so they weren’t reacting to the partygoers’ real life personas. All they had to go on were the personas in the costumes. This meant people could allow parts of their personas to come out and play in a way that they normally they did not allow themselves to do.
That was the serious part of all this fun. By breaking down normal inhibitions, the guests allowed themselves to be open to new things. New and novel is where the fun is.
Fun Is At Your Edges
Fun is at the edges of oour comfort zones, wherever those are. Fun happens when we allow our serious personas to come off for a moment, or shift them over. Fun happens when we just allow ourselves to experience the moment fully, without caring who is watching.
Fun is at your edges of your inhibitions and expectations. Even if you don’t think costumes are “fun”, like I do, there are things that you – and only you – find “fun”.
Kids have fun 24/7 because they do whatever makes them feel best in each and every moment, damn the consequences. They don’t yet have seriously rigid personas and they aren’t hemmed in by social expectations or limits, so they don’t let their personas get in the way of their fun yet.
When you were a kid, things were “fun” because you were there in the moment, fully experiencing whatever you were doing. It didn’t matter how mundane a thing it was. Your mind, body, and soul were dedicated to whatever captured your attention in that moment.
Sometimes we get so married to our identities and the seriousness of “who we are” that we can’t even remember how to have fun. This is a sad state, because it is indicating that you can’t remember who you are anymore. You now have your persona confused with who you REALLY are. If you doubt this, look at a human with no persona yet. There is no such thing as a baby who doesn’t know how to have “fun”.
Sometimes we are so tightly locked into our masks of inhibition that to pry them off causes us pain. If we experience pain in taking off this mask, shedding inhibitions, when our natural state would be fun, this means we have to slowly bring ourselves back to this natural state of enjoying life.
One way to practice this is to take baby steps. Pick one small experience that you and only you consider to be fun. This one thing should not be what anyone else thinks is fun, but only what you as an individual thinks is fun. That might just mean “allowing” yourself to watch a TV show only you think is fun, that delights you. But the important part is that you are ALLOWING YOUR REAL SELF OUT, EVEN FOR A MOMENT.
The more you practice, the more you will find that once your “serious” mask is cracked, the fun leaks in! Once your restrictive inhibitions come off, the real YOU is revealed again. You can feel you fun-seeking kid inside yourself come out again.
Once your mask is off, you are able to truly feel again, like when you were a child. You can experience life like you did when your only reward for doing something was the enjoyment you got out of doing it. Nothing else. Just the fun you felt doing it.
And fun is the whole point of being alive, right here, right now on this planet. What you experience as “fun”, your own unique individual experience of that feeling, is where the true authenticity of you as a person rests. The most authentic you is the one that experiences fun.
So take your fun seriously. It is who you really are.
a.k.a. Fun Fascist