I recently treated myself to a new MacBook. Hey, I’m an unemployed, single gal currently “staying” with her mom, with two beater vehicles that are constantly trying to one-up each other on their creative repair needs. Why shouldn’t I be dropping a thousand dollars on a shiny toy I don’t really need?
It’s only been a few weeks, and I don’t want to get ahead of myself. But so far this is the BEST RELATIONSHIP OF MY LIFE!
Let me share a few things about Justin. (Yes, I am adding my computer to the list of possessions I name and then obsess over like they’re really my family. Drew — my car. Dougie and Bobby — my house plants. Lucy — my sewing machine. And yes, I picked Justin for Mr. Long of the “I Am A Mac” commercials that are really funny. I need a life.)
- He’s a great listener.
- He loves to watch me work.
- He doesn’t mind if we’re out together, say at a coffee shop, and I totally ignore him while chatting with someone I’ve bumped into.
- He knows everything. Seriously. Everything. But not in an arrogant way. In a matter-of-fact, helpful way.
- He’s super patient.
- We have the Exact Same taste in music.
- I’m his first experience with a human.
- He doesn’t mind that I’ve been with lots of other computers.
Let me be clear about something. I’m not trying to imply that all guys are jerks. Far from it. The vast majority of men I know are wonderful people. And they’re all off limits, for a variety of reasons. No, what I’m saying is that the guys I date tend to be jerks.
This poses an interesting question. I think I’m a pretty smart, usually nice, occasionally funny woman. One would think that might attract similar qualities in men. And I’m no naive mouth breather who can be taken in by a wink and a pat on the bum. I feel I should be able to spot – and avoid – douche bags fairly easily. And yet, time and again I find myself sitting across from some dead beat who’s chugging beer while droning on and on about his hot ex-girlfriend, and I know that yet again I’m going to be stuck with the bill.
So, here is that interesting question I mentioned. Am I (smart, independent, savvy me) really, truly, subconsciously drawn to total jerk-faces? Or, do I (nice, kind, funny me) find perfectly nice guys and somehow manage to turn them into jerk-faces? Is it actually me?
These are the kind of thoughts that can really get a person down on themselves.
But fortunately, I am typing them into my shiny, white, happy MacBook. That’s alright, Justin says. Just get it all out. Put it all on me. I can take it.
And hey, maybe when you’re done we can cuddle in bed. Me on your lap. You with a cup of tea. We could watch a movie. Or just sit and talk. It’s up to you.
When was the last time your boyfriend said that to you? Hmmm??
Natural MacBook © Creative Commons
Justin Long – I’m A Mac: © Creative Commons
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