The comment of by unnamed bureaucrat was appalling with his suggestion to the Canadian military ombudsman that it would be much better, actuarially, for our soldiers to come home in body bags rather than wounded and needing expensive care. The rejoinder of a veteran tired of dealing with this mindset struck a chord with many citizens “If they can’t stand behind us, maybe they should come and stand in front of us.”
Justice should always be swift when it comes to our politicians and bureaucrats.
The guys in Ottawa have become petty cynics, unaccountable to anyone except a toothless Royal Commission when they get caught with free airplane tickets or sports seats. These self-same public trustees are now rushing to join a larger global political class that presumes its right to govern and have unrestrained pickings at the public trough.
The problem is that as they gorge themselves they ignore the issues they were hired to deal with. Those issues are ballooning and threaten to spiral up out of control. The biggest of these is population growth, which is taking on all the charm of an in-your-face super nova.
How is the world going to feed its starving millions in the coming years without a plan or the human machinery to deal with the hungry?
Here is a simple and elegant little proposal. As modest as it may be, it is a start.
This world supports somewhere around six billion people. Nobody knows for sure, but it’s a good guess. So we need to shed a little weight to allow the world to breathe a bit.
Reducing the number of poor isn’t working out. It just makes room for the rich. Heart, lung and liver diseases are helping, but not quickly enough. Besides, a lot of rich people worked hard for what they have and it would not do to wish them ill. Also, the wealthy are becoming healthier than ever; and heart disease and diabetes, brought on by obesity, are becoming the distinct province of North America’s lower classes.
Free market has all but shut down the big grain growing regions because seed, tractor fuel and fertilizer cost more than a farmer can earn and government daren’t interfere there.
At the same time, the religious nuts of the world proscribe anything to do with birth control or abortion. Somehow it’s all going to work itself out when the Rapture comes along (don’t forget these are the same folks who tell their kids that God only helps those who help themselves first).
As Stan Laurel used to say, “That’s another fine kettle of fish you’ve got us into Ollie!”
So here is how we can possibly ease our woes and get ourselves back on the right track.
Let’s eat our bureaucrats.
Think of it. All that protein on the hoof! There isn’t a cattle rancher in Montana or a hog grower in Szechuan who couldn’t figure out the economic benefits of this.
First off, government agents are pretty much free range. They’ve been randomly grazing on the fat of the land for years.
Years ago, Idi Amin sampled one or two of his own political elite and announced that they tasted just like chicken (or was that pork?). With chicken and pork recognized as the world’s favourite meats, it won’t be difficult to sell the favelas of Rio on the hocks of our elected hams.
The actual logistics of processing won’t be that difficult to work out either. A worldwide distribution system could be established by simply disguising transport to the country where the product is to be consumed as a junket paid for by the taxpayer.
Once there, a quick blessing to assuage the concerns of the religious, then a trip into the processing room which would be artfully disguised as an expensive hotel suite.
Think about leisurely Sunday morning brunches with pancakes and ministerial sausages made from the finest cabinet ministers the globe has to offer. Makes one hungry just thinking about it.
Dining upon government officials and the like also answers the environmentalists’ concerns, as this product is a renewable resource. The world’s universities just keep pumping out a never ending supply of MBAs who, if there’s no hope of nepotism and family connections in the business world, have no place else to go except into government.
Finally, in cases like the bean-counting bureaucrat mentioned earlier, specialized farms could be established where the chosen are force-fed with high fat grains and fine wines until their livers swell almost to the point of exploding. Just imagine the economic boom when foie de functionaire becomes the new, hip appy.
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